Networking has a bad rap, doesn’t it? Some find it sleazy. Others find it inconvenient and tiring. And some find it just plain awkward.

But it’s because it has a corporatey jargon sort of name—networking. Networking needs a rebranding, or better yet, it needs a name that actually describes what should be happening. Befriending. Making a connection with another person.

To truly connect with people, keep these two ideas in mind:

1. Be a person, and realize that they are a person too.

First, make sure that you’re behaving like a person, and remember that they are people too. Basically, be friendly. Friends just naturally want to help friends.

As adults, we don’t make new friends as often, so we may be out of touch on how this works exactly. Here’s a quick reminder of the few simple things you should do while making new friends: Listen to them and their needs. Open up a little. Actually care about what they’re saying.

2. Make it a request for information, not a transaction.

Information is valuable, yet it’s relatively easy to give and isn’t dependent on timing. Most professionals have it and are willing to share it. Jobs… well, not so much. Jobs are too dependent on timing and access. A job may (or may not) be available and the person you’re asking may (or may not) have influence in helping you get the job. When you ask someone for a job, you’ve moved the conversation from being relationship-based to transaction-based. And if we can’t meet our end of this transaction (i.e. give you access or help you with the job), the transaction screeches to a stop.

One way to shift the focus is to let go of your personal agenda, at least for a moment. No one will want to connect with you if you start out by saying, “I need something from you.” Shift your objective from “What can I get from this person” to “How can I help this person.” Trust me, it will do wonders—both for them and for your mental health!

Your homework.

A little prep work never hurt anybody. Make sure to practice your introduction—you don’t want to babble, and you don’t want to sound offhanded, self-centered, or rude. Of course there isn’t just one introduction you’ll use every time you meet someone new. Sometimes you’ll meet them at a networking event, but other times it’ll be in a less formal and more quickly paced situation. So it wouldn’t hurt to have a few talking points of varying lengths ready in your head that apply to different scenarios.

ALWAYS FOLLOW UP. I cannot stress this enough! Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep. Embrace the Swedish way—in Sweden, no one uses “We should get together” as a casual way to signal the end of a conversation unless they really mean it. If you promise something to a Swede, then you better follow through! Be like the Swedes.

So what does following up look like? It’s five minutes of your day. Really! Give them a quick “hi and thanks” email or message within a week of meeting them, the earlier the better. Who doesn’t like the thought of someone remembering them and reaching out? Again, this is what  thoughtful friends do, so do it for your connections too!

I’m Stacey Lane: Career Coach | Transition & Career Strategist | Personal Brand Specialist

I help individuals with unique backgrounds find their perfect fit and effectively market themselves so they find work that is as interesting as they are.

Contact me to get started!

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